An honest reflection is all you need
By Ali Ansari
Mental health is no longer something whispered about in the background. It is at the centre of modern life, as real and vital as physical health. Stress, burnout, anxiety are not rare exceptions anymore, they are part of everyday experience.
But here is the thing: understanding your mental health does not need to be complicated. Just like you check your physical fitness with simple moves (bend, lift, run) you can check your mental fitness with a quick scan too. No need for long questionnaires or endless tests. A few honest reflections will tell you what you need to know.
3 Step Scan For Mental Health
1. The Mirror Test – Me
Start with the simplest question: Do I like myself?
- Remember your school or college days and how you felt when you looked in the mirror before heading out. The spark, the confidence, the sense that you were ready for whatever the day threw at you. Do you still see that version of yourself?
- Think about greetings. At the college gate you grinned, waved, and carried a lightness in your step. Compare that with today. How do you greet the first person you see in morning; at home and outside; a neighbour, a colleague, someone at the store? Has the energy faded into fatigue or irritation?
- Listen to your self-talk before going to bed. Is regret or self-pity on repeat; the quiet “why me?” that echoes in your head?
When the mirror shows you a stranger, your greetings lack spark, and your inner voice turns heavy, your mental health is suffering.
2. The Basics Check – My Life
Next, ask: Do I like the way I am living?
Mental health often reveals itself in the way we handle daily responsibilities. Not in big collapses but in the small cracks.
At home, the signs are clear: a tap dripping in the kitchen, a broken gutter leaving puddles at the door, bulbs blown in the main rooms. Laundry and dishes pile up, small repairs stay undone, and clutter becomes the background noise of life.
At work, the cracks widen. Deadlines slip. Emails go unopened because clicking feels like a weight. Camera remains off during video meetings. Passing the buck becomes the job and promises to colleagues are missed, straining trust.
With money, the signals are unavoidable. Bills are left unopened until penalties arrive. Credit card balances creep higher while you tell yourself; I will settle “next month.” Overdrafts and late fees stop being accidents and start becoming routine.
When the basics at home, work and money start sliding and when it feels like you are not meeting anyone’s expectations. It is a signal your mind is overloaded.
3. The Connection Check — My People
Finally, ask: Do I like the relationships around me?
Relationships often show cracks before we do.
- Intimate relationships. With your spouse or partner, is there warmth and connection or distance, silence, and irritation? If your closest bond feels cold, it often reflects stress within yourself.
- Key connections. Children, parents, close friends, co-workers, your boss; are these relationships satisfying you? How often do you speak to the ten most important people in your life each week? If those ties are thinning, it is not just busyness, it is a warning sign.
- Digital life. Social media magnifies envy and distraction. How many hours disappear in scrolling? Are you trolling or venting at strangers? Your phone’s screen-time report will not lie. If screens are replacing real connection, it is a red flag.
When your people feel distant or replaced by screens your mental health is asking for attention.
Taking Action: From Clues to Causes
You have done the scan. Maybe the signs are lighting up. First things first: acknowledge it. That is progress. You have noticed what most people ignore.
Now ask: what is behind it? Most struggles trace back to three common causes:
- Toxic relationships constantly drain you. Staying tied to partners, friends, or workplaces that suck away your time and energy instead of becoming your strength.
- Living without purpose creates a vacuum generally filled by material goals. Being endlessly busy and chasing checklists without meaning creates emptiness in feelings that grow with time.
- Lacking gratitude puts us in the trap of comparison. Measuring yourself against others until nothing ever feels enough.
Fixing the Problems
Here is how to reset when you find yourself stuck in these situations.
· Toxic Relationships
Draw boundaries. Saying no to constant demands is not selfish; it is survival. Boundaries protect your peace and provide time to pursue your dreams.
Audit your circle. The five people you spend most time with shape your energy. If they drain you, rebalance. Sometimes that means pulling back, sometimes having hard conversations, sometimes walking away.
· Living Without Purpose
Add sparks and focus on growth and contribution. Purpose does not have to be one grand mission. Volunteer, learn, create; these small steps anchor meaning in your life.
Redefine success. Stop chasing someone else’s scoreboard. Ask: what kind of day leaves me proud? Build around that.
· Lacking Gratitude
Start the day with a gratitude session. Thank whoever you believe in, for what you have and would not want to trade for a million bucks. It rewires your perspective.
Reset your feed. Social media is comparison on steroids. Limit scrolling, unfollow envy triggers, follow what inspires. Your screen-time will not lie.
Boundaries. Sparks. Gratitude. That is your starter pack for repairing mental health. Simple, doable, powerful.
When to Seek Help
Sometimes, even after the scan and the fixes, the fog does not clear. The confusion lingers. That is when it is time to do what too many avoid: seek help.
I know this because I have been there. When my own mental health was fraying and the noise in my head drowned out clarity, I got myself a life coach. At first it felt like admitting defeat. But it turned out to be the best decision I ever made. With their guidance, I could see issues clearly, draw up a roadmap, and take back control of my actions.
Help does not mean weakness. It means wisdom. It can be a coach, a therapist, a mentor, or even a trusted friend. What matters is that you stop carrying the whole load alone.
Me. My Life. My People.
That’s all it takes to scan your mental health. Notice the clues. Address the traps. And if the weight still feels heavy, ask for help. Your future self will thank you.
